You thought Kevin Federline’s rapping was painful — what about ”Hold On,” Page Kennedy’s rap song about his firing from Desperate Housewives? Kennedy uses his mad rhyming skillz to address the tabloid reports that the producers canned him for flashing: ”Sad thing is they weren’t even exaggerations/They were complete lies and the media seems to stick together like fat guys and Supersize fries.” Uh, okay. Kennedy also raps that he was so despondent after being replaced as cellar dweller Caleb that he mulled suicide but decided against it for the sake of his kids — which doesn’t prevent him from acting it out on the track, complete with a gunshot and a little girl crying, ”Daddy?” (Somewhere, Tupac and Biggie are both saying, ”Damn, I wish I’d thought of that.”)

”Hold On” plays automatically when you visit the actor’s website (, and there’s a whole CD’s worth of tracks where that came from, available for download on his ”Music” page. Jeez, no wonder he was locked in the basement.

Desperate Housewives (TV Show)
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