By Michael Slezak
December 15, 2005 at 05:28 AM EST

The beauty of a movie like King Kong is that pretty much every daily newspaper in the country reviews it, meaning I get paid to sip Diet Coke and peruse scads of headlines. (Fun!) While I was surprised by the number of reviewers who didn’t take advantage of the numerous opportunities for either simian or kingly puns — c’mon, Akron Beacon Journal, this is the best you could do? — here’s a few that made me, um, roar with laughter, or at least scaled their way to the top of the pack. Which one’s top banana in your book?

Monkey Business
San Francisco Examiner: Gorilla in our midst
Slate: Gorilla my dreams
Seattle Times: The sound and the furry: “King Kong” is a seat-numbing spectacle
Detroit Free Press: Monkey see, monkey overdo

Throne for a Loop
Lexington Leader-Herald: Lord of the kings
New York Daily News: Long live this ‘King’!
Buffalo News: It’s Good to Be King

Primate for Life
Washington Post: ‘King Kong’: A Beauty of a Beast Jungle Love
San Francisco Chronicle: Girl meets gorilla in big, hairy mess of a movie. If only Peter Jackson hadn’t gotten lost in the jungle.
Eclipse Magazine: Hot, Sexy Monkey Love, Kong Is Huge

Too Clever By Half?
The New York Times: ‘You Beast,’ She Said, and Meant It
Fort Wayne Journal-Gazette: Rise, Ann, Shine