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Since this week’s been all about Mariah, let me quote The Lady Carey to begin my final PopWatch item of the week: ”Just like a Calgon commercial/I really gotta get up outta here/and go somewhere”. And where, pray tell, might I be going? To a Pirate/Santa party at my friend Karen’s, of course!

But I digress…I’m supposed to be discussing weekend entertainment options (or so my editor keeps trying to tell me). On that note, what better way to spend your hard-earned entertainment dollars than by throwing ’em at this weekend’s famous birthday boys and girls? It’ll be like getting a present for them and for yourself, all at once. And isn’t that the best kind of giving? Anyhoo…

Desperate Housewife Felicity Huffman and Dame Judi Dench (left) will be blowing out the candles tonight, Dec. 9, the same day their respective new films, Transamerica and Mrs. Henderson Presents, hit theaters.

-Raven and Mercer Mayer both turn a year older on Saturday, Dec. 10. The uni-monikered teen star’s holiday-themed episode of That’s So Raven airs three times on the Disney Channel on her big day, while the illustrator’s children’s books make a great gift for the tasetmaking tot in your life.

-They say it’s Mos Def and Teri Garr’s birthdays on Sunday, Dec. 11. The former’s latest, the highly amusing The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, is out on DVD, while the latter has just released an autobiography, Speedbumps: Flooring It Through Hollywood (which got a B in EW).

-Stephenie LaGrossa turned 26 on Tuesday, Dec. 6, but will the reality-show hottie be celebrating Sunday night at the end of Survivor: Guatemala — The Maya Empire (CBS, 8-10 p.m., EDT)? (For the record, I’m pulling for Rafe, whose name, coincidentally, is only one letter away from Rage).

-And finally, Alec Baldwin won’t have to think about the dreaded B-word till April 3, but I’ll be gosh-darned if I’m going to be so shackled to this birthday theme that I don’t mention he’ll be hosting SNL (NBC, 11:29 p.m., EDT) for the 12th time this weekend (with musical guest Shakira), second only to Steve Martin.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a beard, an eye patch, and a jaunty Santa hat to purchase. Have a great weekend!