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Let’s face it: Hulk Hands were impractical; Rodney’s clunky Ro-Boots (from Robots) were lame; and the novelty of that Spider-Man Silly String glove wears off pretty quickly.

But ElectronicKong Arms are a whole different kettle of wearable mass merchandising. They’re just one of the cagillion tie-insyou’ll see for Peter Jackson’s King Kong remake (in theaters Dec. 14). The lifelike, rubbery mitts come complete with dirt painted in the skin grooves. Amotion-activation box emits hair-raising ape roars and victim’s screams. In fact, they totally scare me. Case in point, my Kong Arms are safely packed away in a closet. But, apparently, they are safe for cute kids (like this one — how awesome is that face!) of 4 years or older.

Scale model of the Empire State Building and helpless blonde sold separately. (No, not really.)