I’m filled with self-loathing this morning, and I’ll tell you why. I’m one of those dullards who sets his cellphone to ‘vibrate.’ What does it say about me that I choose a low-wattage ”bzzz, bzzz, bzzz” over the plethora of hits at my disposal?

Maybe I’d be better off with Kanye West’s ”Gold Digger,” which currently sits atop Billboard’s Hot Ringtones chart. (It’s followed by the Black Eyed Peas’ ”My Humps,” Koji Kondo’s ”Super Mario Brothers Theme,” John Carpenter’s ”Halloween,” and Mariah Carey’s ”Shake It Off.”) Or I could go with something classic, like Lalo Schifrin’s ”Mission: Impossible,” which sits at No. 35 after 47 weeks on the chart. I dunno.

I clearly need some help, people. So let’s have it: What’s currently playing on your cellphone? In the unforgettable words of Paula Abdul, how ’bout some information pleeeeeeease?