On ''Laguna Beach,'' LC throws another poolside party to get over Jason's fling with Jess but has to watch Stephen and Kristin flirt; later, Jason tries to make amends
Laguna Beach

”Laguna Beach”: LC grows a backbone

It’s a weird, weird world when seeing LC and Kristin at the same party seems like a good thing. But that’s where we were on this penultimate episode of Laguna Beach‘s second season. In the wake of Jess’ jolly lap dance for Jason last week, Kristin was the least of LC’s concerns. Poor LC. To have a boy tell you, ”I love Lauren,” one week and then see him getting his swerve on with another girl the next — too sad.

But you know what they say: Lose a boyfriend, throw a party. Who are ”they”? I do not know. But LC lost a boyfriend, and so she threw a party. And if that’s how LC copes, then that’s good enough for me. It really did seem like the gal’s rehabilitation hinged on a really killer hootenanny. And by that I mean serving Chinese food and bruschetta poolside, sans Jason and Jess.

”Lauren, we love you. We love your bruschetta,” said a male voice. I was not sure who said that exactly, but I suspect it was Cedric. My reasons are twofold: First, ”Lauren, we love you. We love your bruschetta” was an idiotic statement. Second, Cedric’s an idiot. (That’s this week’s syllogism, logic pupils.) Also, if Jason was being shut out of the shindig, why did LC bother inviting Cedric? Odd, no? That’s like inviting a jock strap and not inviting the jock.

But that’s not all that seemed off at the party. Was it just me or did LC’s voice sound different? Considering what went down last week (ahem! Jess!), I expected a depressed timbre, but LC’s voice sounded super smoky throughout. I know times are tough, but lay off the pipe, baby. Later, the girl copped a Judy Garland-esque lush hush, saying to Stephen about Kristin, ”Tell her to get her li’l buuuhtt uppuh heayah.” Hi, I’m LC. I like to drink. I like to smoke. And I like to drink. I’m fif-tay!

And so, in this festive atmosphere, LC actually wanted Kristin around. Makes sense. But where did Kristin stand on that issue? She had no reason to want to reconcile with LC. After all, LC cheated with Stephen. And Jess is Kristin’s best friend, so if Jess wasn’t invited, then why would Kristin go?

At Jess’ house, Alex H. and Kristin freely talked about LC’s soiree. Awk-ward! Then again, haven’t we learned there is no situation too uncomfortable for Jess? Sure, she wasn’t invited and her best friends openly discussed going, but Jess is a girl who doesn’t mind another gal taking her beau to a dance or humiliating herself in public. (”I’m a slut! I’m a slut!”) Certainly Jess wouldn’t care if her pals ditched her. In fact, she recommended it: I’m Jess. I’m a piñata! I’m a piñata! Hit me and I’ll give you candy! I swear on our relationship.

After leaving Jess behind, Alex H. and Kristin had quite the heart to heart.

Kristin: Can we seriously be bitches only?

Alex H.: Bitches only!

Then they both chuckled. I guess that could be construed as being kinda funny. Bitches only! Ha. Then Kristin went on about her relationship with LC: ”I’m going to college, and there’s no point in having this like stupid bickerness between us….I’m over it.” Yes, she did say ”bickerness,” not to be confused with ”skulky,” ”maleviolent,” or ”bitcherness.”

Eventually, the gals arrived at the party. (Omigod, everyone wore dresses!) And we returned to good ol’ times, that is, Stephen and Kristin smothering each other to LC’s dismay. But how strange was Stephen acting around LC before Kristin arrived?

Stephen: You wanna share an ass cheek with me? Mewww. Woooo. Is that move an 8, 9, 7? Trying to work my game here.

Still with sounds, Stephen? Also, cute phrasing there (”share an ass cheek”), although that made no sense at all. But I suppose LC’s been wanting a piece of that cheek for some time, so quit playing games with her — 8, 9, or 7 — you damned tease. Can’t you see she’s in a vulnerable place right now? I suppose not.

When Heidi noted that ”basically everyone” was invited, ”minus Jason and Jessica,” Stephen said, ”They have a hot date tonight?”

LC opened her mouth in shock. Too soon? Probably. Except LC’s look of shock had a tinge of glee to it. That didn’t make much sense. But I guess it’s nice she could take the joke. Anyhoo, Kristin arrived and then after like three seconds wanted to leave. And with her, Stephen would also go.

While not exactly in the same scene, there was an amusing exchange between Stephen and LC, quite befitting the boy’s quick exit. As Stephen and LC passed their wisdom about graduating to the young ones, LC remarked, ”When it came, I thought it came too fast.” Then the camera moved to Stephen. Ha.

I was almost happy to see this strain of LC’s unhappiness. This is the way it should be. Stephen and Kristin taking off together. And LC feeling sad for Stephen. Really, I just like it when Jason doesn’t exist.

And then the loser returned. He called Jessica, she visited, they talked. Ugh, not again! I’m so tired of their subplot. Except that odd wistfulness in Jason’s voice, which only revealed itself in the last few weeks, appeared while he talked with Jess:

Jess: How’s Lauren?

Jason: Hmm. We’re just trying to work things out. After what happened.

Jess: It’s amazing that something that little, could like…whatever….First Alex. Now Lauren. Great, I’m just on a roll. I have you to thank for that.

Jason: It was you.

Jess: I didn’t kiss you….Are you kidding me?

Jason: No way….[Cue the pianos. It’s time to get serious.] This has been crazy.

Jess: It certainly has. [She stares at Jason for a while as he looks downward.] You should call her.

Jason: Thank you.

Jess: Yeah. I’m gonna go. Good luck with life.

And then Jess left. Her work was done. And…scene. Commercial break. Damn! That’s some TV magic, right there. I’m reminded of the great romantic resignations in TV’s recent history. When Richard told Chandler to propose to Monica on Friends. When Marissa told Ryan to go be with Theresa, and then when Theresa later told Ryan to trust Marissa over Trey on the (unreal) O.C. And now there’s Jess whispering to her ex to fight for LC, his true love.

At that moment, I forgave Jess for her sins. I wanted it all to work out. I wanted Jason to chase after LC. I wanted him running through some airport to stop LC right before she, like, boarded a plane to Prague. I wanted security guards chasing Jason. I wanted Jason fighting through them in the name of love. And I wanted Jason imprisoned for violating TSA policy. Guantánamo you go! (I said I forgave Jess. My relationship with Jason still needs work.)

What really happened, of course, was Jason called LC and asked if he could come over to apologize. She responded, ”You can’t come inside. My dad won’t let you.” (That. Was. Awesome.) Jason immediately arrived at LC’s house — well, outside, LC’s house. Hi, dad! (Why was Jason driving a BMW? Where’s the Model T?) And there, LC miraculously lambasted Jason:

LC: Put yourself in my position. Honestly.

Jason: I know.

LC: How would you feel if I kissed an ex-boyfriend in front of you — but I was ”sorry.”


Jason: I would have been pissed too. I know.

LC: You don’t go in front of all of my family and all of my friends and kiss me in front of all them and then go kiss another girl. And everyone knows. That’s humiliating for me.

Jason: I totally understand.

LC: You ruined everything. You know that, right?

Jason: Yep.

At this point, Jason looked so defeated that LC could have blamed him for the death of her childhood puppy. And he would have apologized.

LC: I don’t know what you want me to say.

Jason: Nothing more. Nothing more.

Is he Edgar Allan Poe now? Nevermore, nevermore.

This was quite the bittersweet moment for LC. After all the tug-of-war with Stephen this season, it was inspiring to see her stand up to a guy — to Jason, no less. Although if we believe what we’ve read in the tabs recently (and I’m sure that’s all of us), we know that somehow LC and Jason have reconciled. That’s cool. I accept that. But at least for this episode, I’m truly happy for LC’s show of strength. Good for her. As Alex M. wisely remarked: ”Everyone just needs to get over Jason.” Probably the smartest comment I’ve ever heard on LB. Nothing more.

What do you think? Was that a tear running down Jason’s nose? Did Jess redeem herself? And did my eyes deceive me? Lo was at the party, right? Did she say one gosh darn word?

Laguna Beach
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