On ''Laguna Beach,'' as the seniors graduate, former heartbreaker Jason not only treats LC like a lady but actually talks about his feelings

By Timothy Gunatilaka
Updated October 23, 2005 at 04:00 AM EDT
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”Laguna Beach”: Jason in love

I would like nothing more than to explore how Stephen and Kristin got buddy-buddy again so quickly, the unbearable awkwardness of Alex M. and Casey’s peace summit (could Taylor be more uncomfortable?), the graduation-gift montage (is Taylor now engaged to her mom?), Jess’ sister Diana (what’s with her hair? Is she a skunk? Or just a big Bonnie Raitt fan?), and the valedictorian’s grad speech (this is the first time the cameras have recorded someone marginally intelligent). I really wanted to delve into any and all of those things, but I can’t. I leave you all for one week and the whole world implodes? LC and Jason? In a hot rod? Seriously, how could you let this happen? No presents from Mexico for anybody. And perhaps most perplexing: The boy treats her, like, well.

From driving her around in that weird Tin Lizzie, calling her ”cute” and ”unbelievable” every five seconds, smiling all doe-eyed, and, of course, taking her to grandma and grandpa’s house, Jason showed he’s got heart. And it belongs to LC. Poor Jess. It seems her relationship woes weren’t because Jason sucks (which he does) but that he just never liked her enough. I bet Jason never mentioned the existence of grandparents, let alone invited Jessica over to their home. And what a house it is. Of course, it sounded too bizarre when Jason offered that activity as a date, but upon seeing the house…that’s just a damn fine house. Of course, nary an elder was seen, but that’s beside the point. The darling couple made out in front of the house, walked into the backyard, and then — poof — moments later they’re in swimsuits and hitting the hot tub. (Apparently, they can only have relations around water.) How magical was that house? By simply walking through, one is changed into one’s swimwear. Poof.

As perplexing as the very existence of this coupling was the time span of it all. Having never shown the least affection to Jess over their months-long relationship, Jason threw out the L-bomb a mere two weeks (in TV time, at least) into dating. It all seemed strange. His googly grins seemed a bit too wide; his sweet replies seemed just a little too perfect:

LC: Could you ever live away from the beach?

Jason: I could live here forever.

LC: Could you?

Jason: With you.

Before, the boy couldn’t string together a verb and noun, and suddenly he’s gosh darn Sir Philip Sidney? ”The waves were epic today,” rhapsodized the Big Duh turned bard before announcing, ”I love Lauren.” Why did he say, ”I love Lauren”? Dude, the girl’s standing right next to you. Why the third person? Was it like some mantra he kept telling himself? Jason, you love Lauren. Jason, you love Lauren. Jason, you love Lauren. Or rather, was it someone else feeding him lines? Cyrano, thy name is Laguna Beach director. I mean, aren’t all these kids aspiring actors anyways?

Director: Jason, in this scene, remember you love Lauren.

Jason: Wait, what?

Director: In this scene, you love Lauren.

Jason: Oh, right. I love Lauren. I love Lauren.

Director: Lights, camera, action!

LC: Hi, Jason.

Jason: I love Lauren.

Director: Cut!

Sure, the boy talked the talk and walked the walk, but do you really believe? Anyone see any tongue in those kisses? It looked like they always pulled away before ever really connecting. Hmmm.

My grievances notwithstanding, there was something else in this episode that I must recognize. This was the graduation show, so I’d be remiss not to discuss some of the fanfare. And since we’ve already started on Jason’s love life, it’s natural to bask in the glory that is Cedric. ”I wonder how tight it is,” he said when contemplating what to wear under his graduation gown. ”If I go naked, is there like a bulge?” Oh, Cedric. You just gotta shrug your shoulders and pat the boy on the head. And after he laid out the most dapper outfit he could put together for the ceremony, seeing how miffed he got when he heard Jason was dressing casual was too endearing. Good boy.

What do you think? What happened to Jason? Do you think this is true love? And maybe it’s just the way she says, ”Hey, bitchezzzzz!” but is anyone else starting to like Alex H.?

Laguna Beach

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