J. Alexander: Monty Brinton/UPN

TV's funniest lines from Oct 11 to 17. Read the expanded online-only version of our favorite quips, then vote for the best quote

October 22, 2005 at 04:00 AM EDT

”Girls, don’t blame the photographer. Blame your parents for bad DNA.”
MISS J., ON AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL

”This week New Jersey received so much rain that four New Jersey towns had to be evacuated. The Red Cross says the New Jersey evacuees are suffering from shock, hypothermia, and a condition known as ‘wet mullet.”’
CONAN O’BRIEN, ON LATE NIGHT

”Man, this relationship stuff is like the hardest videogame in the world — as soon as I level up there’s a new robo-assassin waiting to take me out because I don’t know the secret code.”
BRIGHT (CHRIS PRATT), ON EVERWOOD

”Marilyn Manson is coming out with his very own fragrance. This will finally answer the question ‘What does irrelevance smell like?”’
JOEL MCHALE, ON THE SOUP

”No conditions — except neither of us is allowed to date anybody else.”
SUSAN (TERI HATCHER), DISCUSSING THE RULES OF HER ”CASUAL” RELATIONSHIP WITH MIKE (JAMES DENTON) ON DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

”He is just digging himself a hole, and I am gonna do everything I can to make sure he has a shovel.”
BRIAN, AFTER ENCOURAGING TRIBEMATE BLAKE TO BRAG ABOUT HIS SEXUAL CONQUESTS, ON SURVIVOR

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