TV's funniest lines from Sept. 20 to 26. Read our favorite quips, then vote for the quote of the week
Advertisement
Chris Rock
Credit: Chris Rock: Tony Barson/WireImage.com

”What’s Tom Cruise gonna stand on?”
CHRIS ROCK, ADMIRING THE NEW COUCHLESS SET, ON OPRAH

”These are dangerous people, Michael. They will do whatever it takes to get inside this family and bring us down….Oh, they’re polite and the men all sound gay, but they will rip out your heart. And their breath…”
GEORGE SR. (JEFFREY TAMBOR), DESCRIBING THE BRITISH, ON ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT

”He may be fair, but, uh…I don’t believe he’s very balanced.”
JON STEWART, DESCRIBING FOX NEWS ANCHOR SHEPARD SMITH’S TUMBLE DURING HURRICANE RITA, ON THE DAILY SHOW

”Why do you think they put TVs in coma patients’ rooms, anyway?”
DR. HOUSE (HUGH LAURIE), ON HOUSE

”This is awesome! Black God rules!”
BART, UPON WITNESSING HIS FIRST GOSPEL CHOIR, ON THE SIMPSONS

”Seriously, you are guaranteed an Oscar if you play a mental.”
KATE WINSLET, PLAYING HERSELF, ON EXTRAS

”I don’t really think drinking’s the problem. It’s just how much I drink.”
JOHANNNA, SHORTLY BEFORE BEING ARRESTED FOR PUBLIC INTOXICATION, ON THE REAL WORLD: AUSTIN

”Isn’t it a little immature for seniors to be giving wedgies?”
SUMMER (RACHEL BILSON), CONSOLING BULLYING VICTIM SETH (ADAM BRODY), ON THE O.C.

Comments