Regular readers of this blog may have noticed that I’ve been trying really hard to retire Valerie Cherish’s Comeback catchphrase. But some mornings (like today, for example), the entertainment industry cranks out so much harrowing news, that I’ve got to get all Aunt Sassy and break out with a ”Note to self: I don’t need to see that!”

(Whew, I feel better.)

And now, without further ado, here are the nominees for Dubious Idea of the Day:

A. Joe Jackson (father of Michael, LaToya, and other unique Jackson kids) is starting a ”Hip Hop Boot Camp.”

B. Author John Gray (Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus), is sharing the helpful news that Brad and Jen never stood a chance in the first place. (I guess now the healing can begin).

C. Paris Hilton is planning a book sequel containing many blank pages.

D. Broadway producers are planning Johnny Cash: The Musical.

E. Designer Valentino is going off on Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz for not looking pretty enough in public. Yeah, burn them! Burn them!

I know, I know — you’d like to vote for all of the above, but not all terrible ideas are created equal. I mean, at least Jackson is limiting his training to the 18-and-over set, so he won’t be shaping young minds. And Paris, well, to be fair, her book is actually more of a journal. As for the Johnny Cash musical, while it has the potential to be good, I’m getting a little tired of the trend of trying to force every major artist’s songbook onto the Great White Way. That leaves me with just Gray and Valentino, and I’ll give the former the slight edge in boneheadedness. I kinda sorta understand where Valentino is coming from — I mean, one of the many things I love about Beyonce is that she has never once in her life looked anything less than flawless in public — but in Cameron D’s defense, the paparazzi seems to be a lot more aggressive about cornering actors walking their dogs or visiting Starbucks than back in the old Hollywood system. Gray, however, has no excuse. Viewing Brad and Jen’s upcoming divorce date as a good P.R. opportunity isn’t from Mars or Venus, it’s just from the gutter.

But don’t let me have the last word. Post your pick for Dubious Idea of the Day now!