Geena Davis, Commander in Chief
Credit: Commander In Chief: Kent Eanes

Reviewing last night’s premiere of ABC’s Commander in Chief, some critics voted pro, some vote anti, but all found consensus on one thing: They were distracted by Geena Davis’ pouty, fire-engine-red lips. Pundits haven’t been this unnerved by a pair of lips in the White House since — nah, I’m not gonna go there.

Viewers, however, were suckered by her pucker; CiC drew an audience of 16.2 million, beat timeslot competitors House and The Amazing Race, and became the night’s most-watched show. Anyway, here’s a sampling of the reviewers’ lip shtick:

Washington Post: ”She certainly does wear more lipstick than any of her predecessors. Sometimes she boasts such a big bold blob of red that she looks like she’s wearing those red wax lips they sell for Halloween.”

Media Life magazine: ”But those full, red lips are a bit disconcerting on a president of the United States of America, even a female one. They seem like movie star’s lips.”

Boston Globe: ”It doesn’t help that Davis looks so young, with those glam lips.”

Detroit News: ”Her hair is too Condoleeza [sic] for the blue states and her lips are too red for the red.”

Palm Beach Post: ”The nation isn’t accustomed to seeing the President of the United States in high heels and eye-catching red overcoats. Or sporting pouty, oh-so-kissable lips.”

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel: ”Davis isn’t terrible, but she’s not helped by her movie-star makeup, especially those kissy crimson lips.”

Los Angeles Times: ”Even behind the great, glossy red pillows that are her lips, and which continually draw one’s eyes to the center of the screen, she is convincingly presidential.”

San Jose Mercury News: ”Part of the problem is her lips, which enter the room three seconds before she does.”

Lansing (Mich.) State Journal: ”She seems qualified for any job, being taller than Jimmy Carter and having bigger lips than Mick Jagger.” ”Given the prejudice she would face, the nation might feel safer with a female leader possessed of great height, athleticism (Davis nearly represented the U.S. in Olympic archery) and robust, bee-stung lips. I look forward avidly to the Jolie Administration.”

addCredit(“Commander In Chief: Kent Eanes”)