The 10 hottest topics for the week of September 30, 2005

By Dalton Ross
Updated September 23, 2005 at 04:00 AM EDT
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Dalton Ross’ Hit List for the week of September 30, 2005

1. LENNON MUSICAL ON BROADWAY WILL CLOSE AFTER ONLY 49 PERFORMANCES Although it should be noted that’s still 49 performances more than Ringo: A Starr Is Born.

2. MAN SETS RECORD BY WATCHING TV FOR ALMOST 70 HOURS STRAIGHT The scary part is I think I could beat that. And if you count the Big Brother live Internet feed, I already have.

3. THE FREAKMAKER ON DVD Is it any good? Of course not. But isn’t it nice to know that you can now say, ”Hey, honey, wanna go to the video store and rock a little Freakmaker?” Not that you would. But you could.

4. RENÉE ZELLWEGER AND KENNY CHESNEY BREAK UP ”I am incredibly happy,” Chesney said after their wedding in May. ”It’s just hard to imagine that I’m not going to wake up.” Dude, you just did.

5. ALASKA ZOO INSTALLS TREADMILL TO KEEP ELEPHANT FROM GETTING FAT She’s an elephant! What’s next, TRIMSPA?

6. MÖTLEY CRÜE LEAD SINGER VINCE NEIL FALLS OFF STAGE That’s a shame. In related news, guitarist Mick Mars has finally admitted to being 378 years old.

7. TORI SPELLING SEPARATES FROM HUSBAND She was all teary about it until her daddy promised to cast her in another marriage as soon as possible. Perhaps involving the Notorious B.A.G. (Brian Austin Green). Or, failing that, Kenny Chesney.

8. DORIS ROBERTS WINS AN EMMY It’s just like 2001 all over again! And 2002. And 2003. And even 1983, for that matter.

9. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER TO RUN FOR REELECTION Well, he did say he’d be back. Of course, he also once said ”You should not drink and bake,” and I still haven’t figured that one out.

10. FAMILY EDITION OF THE AMAZING RACE DEBUTS Nothing spells love like dragging your 8-year-old all around the world for a race. Except maybe therapy. Lots and lots of therapy.

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