On ''Big Brother,'' Janelle makes the Nerd Herd single out a member for eviction, and things turn ugly
Credit: Big Brother 6: Cliff Lipson
Big Brother

”Big Brother”: The Friendsheep eat their own

Well, I guess my birthday came early this year! Not one but three surprise gifts from the Big Brother house this week: First, the look of utter astonishment from the Friendsheep on Saturday upon learning that America had decided once again to reward Janelle with a luxury. Second, that delicious — though admittedly suicidal — catfight instigated by April with the stunned (and very angry) Ivette last night. And third, no surprise, the long-deserved eviction of that trash-talking, Pepperoni-loving, ”my husband’s not fat, he’s just fluffy” shrew from Dallas who really just loves everybody and has ”never really been in it for the money.” Oh yes, happy birthday to me!

But first things first. As much as I had hoped that America would give the Nerd Herd one final kiss-off by rewarding the luxury to Janelle, I also fear we may have sealed Blondie’s fate. Though last night’s developments certainly improved her standing (more on that later), I still distrust the Friendsheep and their inability to get over their irrational resentment of the Sovereignty. Exhibit A: Just look at the way the nerds are behaving in the sequester house toward anybody who’s not one of them. I’m not sure which was uglier in last night’s episode — the look on Jen’s face whenever Rachel or James had anything to say about the game or that curious pirate belt wrapped around Julie’s waist. Definitely a toss-up.

But how fortunate for Janelle — and us! — that the day finally came when the Friendsheep began to eat their own. Now I understand that anybody would be angry over the cold hard reality that you’re about to get evicted from the house, but April’s outburst really took the cake, man. Sure, be mad, be pouty that your ass is finally grass, but what’s the point of throwing a Hail Mary roasting of Ivette if it only hastens her decision to fry you, April? And what does Ivette do in return? Run and bawl in her bed and then apologize to April for having to cut her loose! Greatest. TV. Ever. (At least until Lost and 24 return, that is.)

Now to the inevitable endurance competition for the final head of household. Don’t think I didn’t notice how Maggie was wearing a pair of gloves for the task. Obviously it was a pretty shrewd move on her part to bring them into the house, but I have to wonder why the producers allowed her to wear them while the other women had nothing. This seems like a competition in which sweaty hands could hurt you, so if Maggie prevails overnight (and I’m counting on you, readers, to give us updates here), I think we’re all gonna have to protest.

Now back to Janelle. Whether she can win BB6 remains up for discussion, but I do believe she has it in the bag to be in the final 2. Maggie and Ivette must know they’d have a better chance to win opposite Janelle then against one of their own. I only hope (and I can’t believe I’m saying this because I dislike her as much if not more than April) that it’s Ivette who makes it to the final 2 with Janelle. Not that I think she deserves it — I’m pretty sick of hearing her say, ”I’m doing this for my family!” as if we were supposed to believe her clan is stuck in some Third World country and in dire need of food and supplies — but I just think that Janelle might have a better chance of appealing to the sequester house against her rather than Maggie. It’ll all come down to that final speech, and I pray — pray! — that Janelle will drop the ditz routine and tell it like it is. I’m hoping for something like this:

I regret this game has become way too divisive and that many of us have taken it far too personally. I would hope you would put your feelings aside long enough to recognize that it’s not just due to dumb luck that I’m standing here today. I’m here because I have played the game well — even better than the woman standing beside me. Please look beyond our differences — not to mention the very ugly turn this house took earlier this summer that made us lose sight of the fact that Big Brother is just a game — and consider my performance before making your final choice. Oh, and one final thought: Cappy is a little Napoleon turd who never deserved to be here in the first place, and it appalls me that you continue to invoke his name today. Seriously, Ivette, are you thinking of going straight just so you can have him? Anyway, I digress. Thank you very much for hearing me out.

So what do you think? Who’s going to win it all? Who deserves to win? (By the way, the TV Watch is skipping Thursday’s episode, which has been moved to Friday, but we’ll be back for next Tuesday’s finale.)

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Big Brother
Big Brother

Julie Chen hosts as the houseguests battle it out.

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