TV's funniest lines from Aug. 30 to Sept. 5. Read our favorite quips, then vote for the quote of the week
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Joel McHale

”A pair of ruby slippers worn by Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz is missing from a museum in Grand Rapids, Mich. Police are on the lookout for someone who is skilled in disabling alarms, knowledgeable about cinema memorabilia, and very, very gay.”
HOST JOEL McHALE, ON THE SOUP

”Why are we so hot?”
ONE OF BIRTHDAY GIRL LILA’S FRIENDS, COMMENTING WHILE THE GROUP IS POSING FOR PRE-PARTY PHOTOS, ON MY SUPER SWEET 16

”At least they didn’t show the thing with us doing coke.”
MARK (DAMIAN YOUNG), TO VALERIE (LISA KUDROW), WHILE WATCHING THE PREMIERE OF THEIR REALITY SHOW BUT FORGETTING THAT THE CAMERAS ARE STILL ROLLING, ON THE COMEBACK

”You were the white guy, Richard.”
ARI (JEREMY PIVEN), TO CLIENT RICHARD SCHIFF, AFTER SCHIFF ASKED ARI WHO HE PLAYED IN RAY, ON ENTOURAGE

”Wash that hair! Wash that hair! Ba-dink! Ba-dink! Seven! Hip!”
CHOREOGRAPHER DORINA SANCHEZ, DESCRIBING THE MOVES IN A DISCO ROUTINE, ON SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE

”Look at the mangina on this guy.”
JOHNNY (KEVIN DILLON), CHECKING OUT THE CROTCH ON VINCE’S AQUAMAN ACTION FIGURE, ON ENTOURAGE

”Imelda, could you make me un quesadilla, por favor?”
CASEY, ORDERING A SNACK FROM HER HOUSEKEEPER WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY SHOWING OFF HER LANGUAGE SKILLS, ON LAGUNA BEACH

”I love her as a person, as a friend, as a future hookup…”
HOWIE, DESCRIBING HOW MUCH HE MISSES HIS RECENTLY DEPARTED PARTNER, RACHEL, ON BIG BROTHER

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