TV's funniest quotes from August 16 to 22. Read our favorite quips, then vote for the quote of the week

By EW Staff
August 27, 2005 at 04:00 AM EDT
Gary Busey: Jean-Paul Aussenard/WireImage.com

”There’s nothing like changes, because nothing changes but the changes.”
GARY BUSEY, MAKING NO SENSE AS USUAL, ON CELEBRITY FIT CLUB

”I was up at 5:30 or 6. Normally, I wouldn’t even get up at this hour for sex.”
TOMMY LEE, ABOUT WAKING UP EARLY FOR MARCHING-BAND PRACTICE, ON TOMMY LEE GOES TO COLLEGE

”She’s crawling over to Jose. She climbs on him. She’s kissing him. Which is not fair, because I want some of that candy.”
OMAROSA, DESCRIBING JANICE DICKINSON’S ADVANCES TO JOSE CONSECO, ON THE SURREAL LIFE

”Superhero or no superhero, it’s downright rude to be tardy.”
JOHNNY DRAMA (KEVIN DILLON), WHEN VINCE (ADRIAN GRENIER), THE MOVIES’ NEXT AQUAMAN, IS LATE FOR LUNCH, ON ENTOURAGE

”They’re pretty much telling the truth about each other, but no drunk wants to hear the truth about themself.”
IVETTE, AFTER BEAU AND JANELLE TRADE BARBS ON BIG BROTHER

”She doesn’t want to hold hands; she wants to hold something else, and I am sure as hell gonna take her back to my bedroom and see what else she wants to hold.”
WES, DESCRIBING THE BUILD-UP TO HIS ONE-NIGHT STAND, ON THE REAL WORLD

”Israel will pull out of Gaza, but not before contracting Gazarrhea.”
CONAN O’BRIEN, MAKING HIS PREDICTIONS FOR ”THE YEAR 2000,” ON LATE NIGHT

”This is a one-hundred-percent gay kitchen.”
BETTINA (KATHY BATES), AFTER KEITH (MATHEW ST. PATRICK) AND DAVID (MICHAEL C. HALL) REDECORATE THE FISHER FAMILY HOME, ON SIX FEET UNDER

”My entire life I’ve been wearing clothes that I hate.”
RUTH (FRANCES CONROY), FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGING THAT SHE HAS A PROBLEM, ON SIX FEET UNDER

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