The Apprentice: Martha Stewart
Credit: The Apprentice Martha Stewart: Virginia Sherwood

Some folks love Martha Stewart; others hate her. Me, I’ve actually made her sausage-cornbread stuffing served in hollowed-out pumpkin shells, so I guess you know which camp I’m in. And if that doesn’t make me as qualified as the next guy to place early bets on who’ll take home the gravy in season 1 of Martha Stewart: The Apprentice, well, you’re more than welcome to post your own picks in the message boards below, mmmkay?

Anyhow, after reviewing the bios of the 16 people competing to land a job with America’s toughest boss-lady, I’ve already tabbed five for early elimination.

I mean, 27-year-old Marcela’s already appeared as a guest on The Food Network; Shawn (above) is a professional broadcast journalist — the show’s called The Apprentice, people, not The Replacement. Ditto for Mensa members David and Dawn — as much as I know Martha’s looking for a smart cookie, she’s not going to want anyone rubbing their IQ in her face. As for Orange County prosecutor Jennifer, why didn’t producer Mark Burnett just go ahead and cast a parole officer? Puh-lease!

My early picks for the top three are: Carrie, who, like Martha, is a former stockbroker with a passion for glass-blowing; Chuck, whose interior design firm might make a nice future acquisition for Martha Stewart Omnimedia; and Leslie, whose contacts with top Republicans in the nation’s capital might come in handy the next time M. Diddy runs into a legal or regulatory snafu.

Now if I could just get Martha to adopt my brush-off phrase of choice — ”The servant’s exit is at the back” — this just might be fall’s best new show. Okay, folks, it’s your turn. Who are your early picks to go far in Martha Stewart: The Apprentice?

addCredit(“The Apprentice Martha Stewart: Virginia Sherwood”)