Lindsay Lohan
Credit: Lindsay Lohan: Jennifer Graylock

What’s weirder?

A) Renting yourself a little bit o’ Rick Springfield… for $1,000?

B) Finding out America’s newest confessional songwriter-director is some kid named Lindsay Lohan (left)?

C) Bracing for the twin oil-and-water collaborations of Lil Jon and Hilary Duff, and Lil Jon and Jessica Simpson?

Tough call here, folks. I’m gonna lay off Lindsay, because to be honest, the girl’s got talent, and her family situation just makes me sad. And as disturbing as I find the idea of a pay-for-play Springfield, I’m going with C, as the following Lil Jon quote sends me directly into the emotional fetal position: ”Hilary Duff, we did a song for a soundtrack. She has the Material Girl movie coming out and we redid [Madonna’s] ‘Material Girl.”’

(Yeah, of course, I can give you a minute…)

(You okay? You sure?)

I know; I know. I mean, I guess it was inevitable somebody would cover Madge’s mid-’80s classic, but is there an artist who less embodies her brassy, bawdy spirit than The Artist Formerly Known as Lizzie McGuire? To quote another cherished diva, ”Hell to the no!”