By Michael Slezak
Updated July 13, 2005 at 08:00 PM EDT
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Dear MTV,

Hi, and sorry to bother you. We’re the 30,000 remaining leatherback sea turtles of Turtle Beach in Tobago. We know you’re busy and all, so we’ll try not to take up too much of your time. It’s just that your recent trip to our stomping grounds to film the Real WorldRoad Rules reality show, The Gauntlet, turned out to be slightly more, um, harrowing than we’d been led to believe it would be.

Oh sure, you brought along the scantily clad hot tubbers, the petty backstabbing, and the grueling physical challenges — we enjoy that kind of thing as much as the next gentle, endangered sea creature — but we could’ve lived without the giant stakes you drove straight through our nests while you set up a volleyball tourney. Plus, as our friends at The Sea Turtle Restoration Project point out, many of our eggs are now ”buried beneath densely compacted sand without any hope for escape for the hatchlings.”

Hatchlings, MTV. Hatchlings. Is there a more adorable sounding word in your language? Are you losing any sleep over your decision not to move your set due to budgetary and logistical reasons? And what are you going to do to help us out of this mess? No, a special visit from Eric Nies is not gonna cut it.

Regards,

The Leatherback Sea Turtles of Turtle Beach

(with thanks to TV Barn for the link)

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