Michael Chiklis, Fantastic Four
Credit: Fantastic Four: Kerry Hayes

Oh sure, newspaper folks, it’s super easy to get all ha-ha hee-hee about Michael Chiklis (left) wearing a skin made of orange rocks, but how do you feel when PopWatch gets all up in your grill, huh? Yeah, that’s right, we’re doling out pats on the back — and spanks on the bum-bum — for the best and worst Fantastic Four review headlines: Brace yourselves, gentle readers, it’s clobberin’ time!

The ”Why Don’t You Guys Just Phone It in and Call It a Long Weekend Award” (a three-way tie)
Boston Herald: ‘Fantastic Four’ not so fantastic
Detroit News: ‘Four’ isn’t that ‘Fantastic
Indianapolis Star: Fantastic? Yes, in many ways

Easiest to Misinterpret if Taken Literally
The Baxter Bulletin: Cast of ‘Fantastic Four’ makes the film

Laziest Use of Alliteration
The San Francisco Examiner: ‘Fantastic’ flop

The Arizona Republic: A ‘Fantastic’ failure on every level

Too. Many. Words.
Portland Tribune: Formidable Marvel quartet gets tarnished by Tinseltown

Funniest Headline-Subhead Combo (another tie!)
Daily Pennsylvanian: Fantastic…Once it ends. Me Jessica Alba, me act
The Birmingham News: Fantastic schmantastic. These four might as well have power to make paint dry

Best Pun Marvel-Less

Frustrated English Major Scoring Hearty Inner Chuckle Award
San Bernardino Sun: ‘Prosaic Four’ just didn’t have the same ring to it