How many ways can you identify an ”unemployed actor”? More than you could imagine — unless, of course, you’re a reality TV producer. While the genre has a long history of amusing occupational descriptors — Greg from the original Survivor was labeled only ”Ivy league graduate” and The Bachelor‘s Trista was presented as a “pediatric physical therapist/former Miami Heat dancer” — they seem to be getting stranger, and more oddly specific, by the minute.

On the new season of Big Brother (premiering tonight on CBS), for instance, you’ll find a ”loss prevention manager” (is that the same as a security guard?) and a ”VIP cocktail waitress” (why does that sound vaguely dirty to me?). And the recently concluded Beauty and the Geek had a “Dukes of Hazzard Fan Club vice-president” (does he do that for a living?), an ”aspiring fashion expert” (just like I’m an aspiring lottery winner!), a ”life-size Barbie model” (gah!), and a ”has kissed two girls” (who was promoted last night to ”has kissed three girls”; did he get a raise to go with the promotion?).

What are your favorite occupations from past reality shows? How would you describe your own job — using jaunty reality show terminology, of course? Holla back!