The Pacifier

Would The Pacifier have been better with Jackie Chan, for whom Vin Diesel’s tough-guy-goes-soft role was written? Probably. But as a Navy SEAL assigned to protect five suddenly fatherless children, Diesel fulfills his orders to make kiddie viewers laugh with dirty-diaper jokes…and to keep moms interested with a gratuitous towel scene. The EXTRAS, meanwhile, are redeeming. Turns out Diesel, shown rocking a baby costar between takes, can connect with kids. And director Adam Shankman (Bringing Down the House) hasn’t lost his sadistic edge. In the commentary, he says the script wooed him with a Nazi armband (spoiler! The eldest son isn’t a racist — he’s in The Sound of Music) and the climactic Peter Panda dance. He also notes where he had to cut fart noises to keep the PG rating; which day demanded a quiet set (”Okay, guys, we’ve got big drama here to do now, on the Disney movie with a duck and the baby poo”); and that, perhaps, a juice box shouldn’t debilitate a ninja.