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TV's funniest quotes from June 23 to 30 -- We pick our favorite quips from talk shows and sitcoms

By EW Staff
Updated July 01, 2005 at 04:00 AM EDT
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Credit: Beauty and the Geek: Brian To

”I’m going to make you an offer that you’re going to refuse.”
RICHARD, TRYING TO ASK OUT LAUREN, ON BEAUTY AND THE GEEK

”A court in Germany has ruled that soldiers in the German army should be allowed to keep their mullets and ponytails. In a related story, the Germany army is now doing most of its recruiting in New Jersey.”
CONAN O’BRIEN ON LATE NIGHT

”Keith and I are doing this whole surrogacy thing. It’s really confusing and hard. Plus, I got, like, abducted last year.” DAVID (MICHAEL C. HALL), ON WHY HE’S FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO CHEAT ON HIS BOYFRIEND, ON SIX FEET UNDER

”If this chick’s half as open-minded as me, we’re gonna end up making out.”
RACHEL, DISCUSSING HOUSEMATE MELINDA, ON THE REAL WORLD: AUSTIN

”My legs are my livelihood.”
BAD ACTOR JOHNNY DRAMA (KEVIN DILLON), WHO’S CONSIDERING CALF-AUGMENTATION SURGERY, ON ENTOURAGE

”Your hips could do with a little more Ricky Martin.”
JUDGE BRUNO TONIOLI TO JOEY MCINTYRE, AFTER HIS SLIGHTLY STIFF SAMBA, ON DANCING WITH THE STARS

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