Credit: Kathy Hilton and Kim Richards: Judie Burstein/Globe Photos

So you want to be a Hilton, eh? No need to go through the paces on NBC’s low-rated reality series. PopWatch has an alternate plan that’s just as easy to follow — and it’s straight from host Kathy Hilton‘s playbook:

1) Get yourself noticed with a bit part on a classic sitcom. Using her maiden name Kathy Richards, Paris’ mom (that’s her on the left, looking ’80s fabulous with her sister and former kid actress Kim Richards) played Gertie, a member of Leather Tuscadero’s all-girl rock band the Suedes, on a 1977 episode of Happy Days — at least until her character quit her post and got replaced by Joanie (Erin Moran).

2) Land yourself a supporting role in a low-rent horror flick. Maybe something like The Mutilator, a movie that Mrs. Hilton apparently thinks is better off forgotten, according to New York Daily News gossip mavens Rush & Molloy (scroll down to second item).

3) Marry a wealthy real-estate magnate. Have some kids, and raise them to become tabloid media darlings. Wait for inevitable reality-series offers to start pouring in.

addCredit(“Kathy Hilton and Kim Richards: Judie Burstein/Globe Photos”)