Dalton Ross's Hit List for the week of July 1, 2005
The 10 hottest topics for the week of July 1, 2005
Dalton Ross’s Hit List for the week of July 1, 2005
1 MOVIE BOX OFFICE SLUMP CONTINUES Frankly, I’m stumped, because who doesn’t want to go out of their way as often as possible to pay $8 for popcorn and sit through 20 minutes of ads? And man, are remakes awesome or what?
2 MICHAEL JACKSON TELLS FANS THEIR LOVE ”DRIED MY TEARS” DURING TRIAL ”Of course,” continued the letter, ”due to several botched surgeries, I now cry through my nose. But thanks for being there. . . .And, sorry about the boogers.”
3 BOBBY BROWN USES PREPARATION H ON HIS FACE I don’t think there’s anything I can possibly add to that.
4 ROBERT DE NIRO’S MAID ACCUSED OF THEFT Okay, but is anyone who starred in The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle really in any position to claim somebody else stole money?
5 TOM CRUISE CALLS MATT LAUER ”GLIB” Good for you, Tom Cruise! It’s about time you stood up to talk-show hosts who refuse to spend every single second fawning over your love life. You give those glib bastards hell!
6 FOX PLANS CELEBRITY VERSION OF AMERICAN IDOL Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Well, unless it involves Evander Holyfield crooning ”I’m Too Sexy,” then probably not.
7 BIG BROTHER 6 ARRIVES And my self-respect departs.
8 GEORGE LUCAS OPENS NEW 23-ACRE LUCASFILM COMPLEX It’s the house that Darth Vader built. Right after his flesh stopped burning.
9 SHAQUILLE O’NEAL RECEIVES MBA Unless he’s planning on starting up a new venture such as Kobesux.com, I’m not exactly sure what he needs an MBA for. I always thought his business was dunking — and that business was good.
10 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA! It’s a patriotic day that can drive a grown man to tears. . .even if it is through his nose.