You know, I was all set to turn off my TV after next Wednesday’s season finale of Dancing With the Stars and do something controversial — like, say, go outside, or read a book, or something. But oh no, those sinister network execs are trying to lure me back to couch-potato status. I don’t know about you, but I’m powerless against this onslaught of televised booty-shaking!

For starters, Paula Abdul may have a role on Fox’s So You Think You Can Dance — which upgrades the show from moderately intriguing to can’t-miss status. (I admit it, I miss Paula’s loopy charms.) And even weirder, the New York Post is reporting (registration required) that ABC wants daytime dancing queen Ellen DeGeneres to take over Ted Koppel’s Nightline time slot. (I’m already fantasizing about a Dance FeverBBC World News hybrid.)

If none of this comes to pass, though, I’d just settle for a Dancing With the Stars soundtrack featuring those lounge-y covers of ”Toxic,” ”Bailamos,” and ”The Winner Takes It All.” Alas, a spokesperson for the show says there’s no official plans for such a CD. But hey, if Ellen could be the new Ted Koppel, anything’s possible, right?