By Amy Ryan
Updated June 28, 2005 at 10:46 PM EDT
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Once the organizers of the nation’s most famous and venerable beauty pageant have had time to get used to the ignominy of being demoted from network TV to basic cable, they’re going to make a few changes. They’ve already said they’ll make the Miss America Pageant more like a reality show, with emphasis on the backstories of the contestants. Here are some other changes I predict will accompany the shift from ABC to CMT:

-pageant moves from Atlantic City to Nashville’s Grand Ole Opry
-contestants allowed to wear cowboy boots with evening gowns
-new master of ceremonies is Larry the Cable Guy
-instead of swimsuits: Daisy Dukes
-Jo Dee Messina agrees to be a judge, then quits because her ”give-a-damn’s busted”
-”There She Is, Miss America” replaced by ”Redneck Woman”

How would you change the pageant? (Keep it clean.)

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