An open letter to Julia Roberts
An open letter to Julia Roberts -- We pen a plea to the ''Erin Brockovich'' star about the consequences of starring in a music video
Dear Julia Roberts:
It’s come to our attention you’ll be making your postpartum return to the screen in the Dave Matthews video for ”Dreamgirl.” Consider the fallout, Julia, and we’re not talking about the protracted fiddle solos that may cause you to miss the twins’ formative years. We speak of your brother, Eric. Music videos are his bailiwick, his bliss — his bread ‘n’ butter. (Those Star 80 residuals are crap.) And to think, Eric was really stretching his legs, assaying such roles as That Older Guy Reminiscent of Tommy Mottola in Mariah Carey’s ”It’s Like That” video. He took it to a new level as That Sad-Looking But Older Guy Reminiscent of Tommy Mottola in Carey’s ”We Belong Together.” And who can forget his work as That Creepy Checkers-Playing Guy in the Killers’ ”Mr. Brightside” clip? Apparently, you can, Julia. Go on, steal Eric’s thunder. But remember: Cain slew Abel only once. With your video in heavy rotation, you’ll be killing your brother roughly every hour, depending on the length of those fiddle solos.