The Perfect Man is out, and the pans — I mean the reviews — are in. But while it’s been an easy task for movie critics to savage the latest Hillary Duff big-screen vehicle, newspaper editors nationwide have seemingly had a tougher time dipping into their bags of puns and creating Perfectly scathing headlines. How else to explain such dreary efforts from the New York Daily News, Seattle Post-Intelligencer, and Fort Worth Star Telegram.

A few headlines, however, got me chuckling even before I’d hooked up my Diet Coke IV drip. And the winners are…

Best headline-subhed combo: Newsday

Most succinct: San Jose Mercury News

Most likely to be confused with science page: EITB24

Best combination of words ‘schlock’ and ‘monkeys’: The Daily Californian