The 10 hottest topics for the week of June 24, 2005

By Dalton Ross
June 17, 2005 at 04:00 AM EDT

Dalton Ross’s Hit List for the week of June 24, 2005

1 – RUSSELL CROWE APOLOGIZES FOR THROWING PHONE AT HOTEL CONCIERGE He then went on to warn both ”busy signal” and ”dial tone” that they have a serious ass-whupping awaiting them.

2 – ”BATTLE FOR AMERICAN VALUES” CRUISE FEATURING BILL O’REILLY CANCELED It’s official — we have no values. Either that or we didn’t feel like imposing said values in international waters. . . .No, that can’t be right.

3 – BOB COSTAS BECOMES REGULAR SUB FOR LARRY KING Suspenders sales will never recover. With any luck.

4 – AC/DC TIES BILLY JOEL FOR FIFTH-BEST-SELLING ALBUM EVER Not only that, but I just listened to Highway to Hell and am pretty sure these guys actually did start the fire. Sorry, Piano Man.

5 – DENNIS RODMAN NAMED COMMISSIONER OF LINGERIE FOOTBALL LEAGUE Hey, if the thong fits. . .

6 – MISS CONGENIALITY 2 ON DVD Oh, sassy Sandra — you’ve done it again! And by ”done it again,” I mean, make a movie I will make it my life’s mission never to watch.

7 – RESEARCHERS SAY LAUGHTER HELPS WITH WEIGHT LOSS In a related story, thousands of people seem to have evaporated after watching Joey McIntyre on Dancing With the Stars.

8 – STEVEN SEAGAL SUED FOR $14 MILLION FOR ALLEGEDLY BEING LATE AND LEAVING EARLY ON TWO FILMS According to the suit, his actions left one movie with a ”material and irreparable problem with story logic.” How this differs from any other Steven Seagal film, however, is still open to question.

9 – FEAR FACTOR BECOMES THEME PARK ATTRACTION Just in case the triple-loop, zero-gravity coaster didn’t make you hurl.

10 – NBC PRESENTS I WANT TO BE A HILTON The Hit List presents I Want to Gouge My Eyes Out.

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