By Missy Schwartz and Gregory Kirschling
February 28, 2005 at 05:00 AM EST

TELEVISION To hell with demoralizing auditions! Tori Spellingis producing and starring in her own pilot for NBC. ”It’s based on my life,” says the former 90210er about Notorious, a self-mocking comedy in which she’ll costar with her beloved pug Mimi LaRue. ”I’ve been crucified in the press for so many years that I was like, I’m just gonna embrace it all. Nothing’s off limits.” Well, except maybe Tori’s papa, bazillionaire TV producer Aaron Spelling. ”No one could ever play my dad, and I didn’t know if he wanted to make an acting appearance, so I thought, We’ll do a kitschy little throwback to Charlie’s Angels” — one of Daddy’s biggest hits! — ”where you hear him on the speakerphone, like the voice of God.” The pilot shoots later this month. . . . Speaking of almighties, fellow bazillionaire producer Jerry Bruckheimer is developing five — count ’em, five — pilots for 2005-06. In keeping with his CSI and Without a Trace, three are hour-long dramas (one — NBC’s E-Ring, about the Pentagon — is directed by Ray‘s Taylor Hackford!). And for the first time ever, he’ll produce two half-hour comedies. The tentatively titled The Evolution of Man, for The WB, is ”about three self-absorbed twentysomething guys who hire a [female] life coach,” says Bruckheimer. The untitled CBS pilot is ”about three siblings who reunite with their professor father, whose wife left him.” Why the foray into funny, Jerry? ”I love to laugh, so why not?”

MOVIES Colin Farrell looked kinda silly as a blond in sandals — maybe he’ll fare better as the sockless Sonny Crockett, next to Jamie Foxx’s Ricardo Tubbs. The bad boys will update the Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas roles in Universal’s Miami Vice movie, written and directed by original TV series producer Michael Mann(Collateral). . . . Charlize Theron, we hope you’re taking Aisha Tyler’s phone calls ’cause she’s written a rad script with a part just for you. ”It’s an action buddy-cop film with two women, and Charlize [would be] incredible,” says Tyler (just offed on 24), who would costar. ”I love action films — John Woo, Hong Kong — so I wrote a film I wanted to see.”