Gossip columnists ban Paris Hilton. Only by curing cancer can the hotel heiress regain her boldface status

By Michael Slezak
Updated January 11, 2005 at 05:00 AM EST
Credit: Paris Hilton: Graham Whitby/Globe/Allstar

You?d think Paris Hilton would be a gossip columnist?s dream come true, what with her stormy love life, hard-partying ways, and penchant for flashing her skivvies (or lack thereof) to the paparazzi. Well, think again.

New York Daily News scribe Lloyd Grove, who pens the paper?s ”Lowdown” column, recently made it his New Year?s resolution to never again mention Hilton in print — unless she ”wins the Nobel Peace Prize, launches herself into outer space — or even gets her high school diploma.” Grove cited Hilton’s lack of ”any discernible talent, education, scruples, modesty or underpants” as the reason behind his vow.

Not one to be outdone, Village Voice‘s Michael Musto has followed suit. In his ”La Dolce Musto” column published today, Musto pledges solidarity with Grove, and then takes it a step further, banning the P-word ”even if she cures cancer. I?m willing to take crazy chances like that,” he writes.

Whether or not Grove and Musto can keep their word remains to be seen. With a new season of Hilton?s reality series, The Simple Life: Interns, premiering Jan. 26, the model-author-aspiring singer will certainly be making the publicity rounds. Maybe she can circumvent the columnists’ ouster by changing her name. The Socialite Formerly Known as Paris, anyone?