Claire defends her art, David and Keith sink to a new low, but Nate has the most to lose as the fight for little Maya begins

By Liane Bonin
August 27, 2004 at 04:00 AM EDT
Six Feet Under: Doug Hyun
  • TV Show

”Six Feet Under”: The fight for Maya begins

The theme of this week’s alternately dull yet stress-inducing mishmash of an episode? The Fishers need a fleet of really great lawyers. And not the feeble legal beagle who negotiated David’s ear-biting lawsuit. We’re talking Mark Geragos-level help. Rico and Ruth should call some divorce attorneys; Nate should be building a case for family court; and poor Claire needs a shark to protect her intellectual property. Hey, where’s a ”Boston Legal” crossover when you need one?

Brenda, her uterus, and Nate Was it me, or was Brenda’s biological clock ticking so darn loud it actually started to crack the Fisher house foundation? (Quick! Everyone in the bomb shelter!) Just visiting her always entertaining but lunatic mom post-hysterectomy should have sent Brenda screaming for a tubal ligation, but even the certain knowledge that she is, in fact, demon spawn did nothing to quench Brenda’s baby lust. Now that Nate is about to be mired in a custody battle for Maya against his nasty sister-in-law, Barb (what does this shrew want, a toddler-for-ashes exchange?), Brenda really needs to put her own narcissistic demands on the back burner. So why do I suspect she’s merrily poking pinholes in her condom collection right this minute? This slow-motion car wreck should keep us entertained through the season finale.

George prepares for Armageddon Just when it seemed like Ruth and George were back on track, she had to go and tell Dr. Death that the house has a bomb shelter, and suddenly their recovering marriage was nuked right back to ground zero. As much as I enjoyed watching George eat a Jehovah’s Witness type for lunch (that poor kid is going to be listening to death-metal albums in a matter of weeks), I really hope the newlyweds get to that Kama Sutra seminar eventually, because it looked really funny. But maybe it’s just time for Ruth to shove George in the bomb shelter, lock the door, and consider herself single again, because their bad-communication tango is getting to be almost as dull as George’s geode collection.

Vanessa shows Rico the door Earth to Rico: It’s over. Vanessa has found a new guy, and worse, she seems hell-bent on partying like a sorority girl instead of helping the kids cope with the separation. Do something quick, Rico. Do it for yourself, do it for the kids, but do it mostly because your story line is boooring.

Claire tries to dump Russell again . . . and can’t Claire’s face actually matched her red hair after Russell took credit for her new cut-and-paste photography technique in class, and I can hardly blame her for fuming. That insecure weenie Russell tears up one photo, and suddenly he’s responsible for the collected works of David Hockney and the entire Cubist movement? But even though Russell seems like a minor nuisance now, I wonder what will happen if Claire’s involvement in a big-time art show generates some buzz. Claire may need to issue a cease-and-desist order, but maybe she can just offer Russell sex, which seems to work for her big brother David as a cheap and quick way to resolve messy legal problems.

David pimps Keith As horrible as it was that Keith had to get it on with Mr. Slimy Producer Guy to persuade him to drop his lawsuit against David, you have to admit one thing: It must be a little flattering to know that someone considers an hour of your time to be worth, like, the price of a small house in Santa Monica. But did Keith get a nice ”thanks for prostituting yourself to save me from bankruptcy” gift from his boyfriend? Or even a simple thank-you? No! Talk about bad manners. David should be doing the dishes from here on out, if you ask me.

What did you think? Should viewers sue for mental cruelty?