By Gregory Kirschling and Adam B. Vary
Updated April 09, 2004 at 04:00 AM EDT

MOVIES What’s Seann William Scott up to these days? Well, he’s right here — let’s ask him. ”I’m doing a movie called Crank,” he says. ”Not the drug.” What then, what? ”It’s hard to talk about it, but it really appeals to my aesthetic.” Which is? ”F — -ed up.” A dollar in the swear jar! But what else? ”I’m doing Richard Kelly’s new film after that — he’s the guy who did Donnie Darko. And I’m producing this remake of a French comedy that I hope to shoot in the fall, kind of a Buster Keaton kind of a film — Buster Keaton meets Amelie. Right now it’s called Gregoire Moulin Against Humanity.” And that is what Seann William Scott is up to these days…. Raise your goblet of RAHHHHRHRHRRRR! School of Rocker Jack Black is affirmative for Peter Jackson’s King Kong remake, which already stars Naomi Watts as the damsel in distress. He’s Carl Denham, the movie director originally played by Robert Armstrong who utters the classic line ”Was beauty killed the beast!”

TELEVISION Running toward your TV — in slo-mo — is Hasselhoff! Der David’s signed for a sitcom pilot based on former EW columnist Joel Stein’s life as a young magazine writer. Opposite Colin Hanks as Stein, Hass plays Striker, ”a rock & roll, womanizing, Pulitzer Prize-winning war correspondent,” says the Baywatch beau, calling from a jet boat. ”I said if I was gonna come back to television, I wanted to come back in a sitcom because the hours are so great.”… The Blue Lagoon, the Brooke Shields teen skin classic that the underage Deal Report was dying to see throughout the entire 1980s, is getting remade — and by The W-galldarned-B! This new, family-friendly TV-movie version will be produced by Chicago exec producer Craig Zadan, who — let’s talk movie movies again for one minute — says his next Miramax musical will be a reinvented, ”contemporary, hip, and funny” Damn Yankees. ”It will be a whole new kind of musical,” Zadan promises. Speaking of, what about an all-singing Blue Lagoon? Is it too late?