By EW Staff
Updated April 02, 2004 at 05:00 AM EST

”Amber is slammin’. She’s sweet. She’s beautiful. She’s funny. She’s got a great personality. Her ass is smokin’ too.” BOSTON ROB ON SURVIVOR: ALL-STARS

”Russian president Vladimir Putin won a second term today…. The second-place finisher in the Russian election, Communist Nikolai Kharitonov, claimed he would have won the election if not for third-party candidate Ralph Naderofsky.” DENNIS MILLER ON DENNIS MILLER

”With the exception of Ryan Seacrest, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who’s more happy to be on TV in my life.” SIMON COWELL, TO MATTHEW ROGERS, ON AMERICAN IDOL

”You just won the gold medal in the sexual Special Olympics! She can’t ever find you again. Don’t you see how you’re so lucky?” GOB (WILL ARNETT) TO MICHAEL (JASON BATEMAN), AFTER HE HAD A ONE-NIGHT STAND WITH A BLIND WOMAN, ON ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT