By Dalton Ross
Updated March 26, 2004 at 05:00 AM EST

When Frankie goes to Hollywood, what does he do? Relax? Hell, no! He works like a madman! The 18-year-old Malcolm in the Middle star is back on the big screen in Agent Cody Banks: Destination London. To warm up, he decoded a few stupid questions. — Dalton Ross

bYou own a $250,000 Porsche Speedster. I have a Ford Focus. Wanna trade?

I would love to trade. The Focus is definitely more of an everyday driver. I don’t think I’ve started up the Porsche since I got Punk’d [when Ashton Kutcher’s gang pretended to steal his ride].

You were in a North Carolina stage production of The Sound of Music with Clay Aiken back in 1997. Honestly, which one of you had the better pipes?

Truthfully, I think I had the better pipes back then, but since my voice has changed, he’s got me a little bit. But yeah, I could be America’s Next Top Model…I mean, an American Idol.

Wait, you think you could be America’s Next Top Model?

[Laughs] Definitely. I’m a triple threat.

I hesitate to bring something up from your past, but how exactly do you explain Shasta McNasty being your favorite TV show?

I seriously loved that show. I was so mad when it got canceled. I never laughed out loud like I did for that show.

Do you sort of feel that the show sold out when it became just plain Shasta? And if it was going to drop a word from the title, shouldn’t it really have changed the name to McNasty instead?

Once they changed the name to Shasta it kind of went downhill. McNasty could have worked. I think people would have been interested to see what a McNasty is.

Let’s move on. I spent most of puberty locked in a bathroom popping zits. You spent yours on national television. Who got the rawer deal on this one?

I’ve been really lucky. I grew like seven inches over the hiatus, and I never really had that awkward voice-cracking phase. But hey, instead of me being locked in a bathroom popping zits, I have my girlfriend do it for me.

Oooooookay. Anyhoo, in the first Agent Cody Banks, you save Hilary Duff from almost certain death. So I guess you’re really the one to blame for Metamorphosis, aren’t you?

Oh, God! Maybe I should have let her die! Then we wouldn’t be going through this torture.

Speaking of music, you’ve credited Zac Hanson for inspiring you to play the drums. Who’s your acting mentor, Yahoo Serious?

From Young Einstein? Oh, that guy is awesome. He played, like, the electric guitar at the end. YEAH!

You were homeschooled starting in the sixth grade. Does this mean your mother was responsible for teaching, cleaning, and administering wedgies?

The funny thing is, she never cleaned, and she never taught me. All she really did was the wedgie part.

So she’s not as much of a triple threat as you are?

I guess not.