Jun wins by a landslide! Alison's beat by a whopping 6 to 1 vote, and of course she lost -- Dalton Ross picked her to win

By Dalton Ross
Updated September 24, 2003 at 12:00 PM EDT
Jun Song: Tony Esparza

Jun wins by a landslide!

Of course Jun won! It was so obvious. Everybody knew it! Why? Well, because I predicted Alison the victor, and everyone knows my predictions on reality shows are ALWAYS embarrassingly inaccurate. Hello! I’m the guy that in the pages of Entertainment Weekly predicted Christy would win ”Survivor: Amazon,” and by the time the issue hit the stands, SHE WASN’T EVEN ON THE SHOW ANY MORE!!! (Booted off by her ”evil stepsisters.”)

So naturally when I picked Alison as the winner, it was all over for her. But, in my defense (and lord knows I need it), I don’t think anyone could have predicted such a landslide, with Jun taking home the $500,000 by a 6 to 1 margin. Also in my defense, I would like to point out that I had four of the seven votes predicted correctly. I had Dana, Justin, and Jee all voting for Jun, and knew that horndog Nathan would still vote for Alison even though she played him like a sucker. Jack, Erika, and Robert were the ones that threw me. I thought they would hand it to Alison. I thought wrong.

But let’s be honest, Alison DID deserve to lose, if for no other reason than for insisting that ”I think there will be some feminists out there who will appreciate what Jun and I have done.” Yes, Alison, you are the new posterwoman for feminism. That makes about as much sense as throwing Manute Bol into the Lollipop Guild. (You might have to brush up on 1980s basketball and ”The Wizard of Oz” to catch that one. Don’t bother. It’s not worth the effort.)

Alison’s ridiculous comment was just one of the treats of finale night. We also got to see poor Michelle say how hurt she was because her former housemates — horror of horrors — voted her out! Yo, Tara Reid wannabe: Cop a chill. THAT’S THE POINT OF THE FREAKIN’ GAME!!! She then proceeded to cry because David had slept with a woman on national television.

We also FINALLY got to see Erika’s racist comments towards Jee addressed. Julie Chen ridiculously gave Erika a free pass on that when she was evicted, but Jee (calmly and with class, I might add) confronted and forgave the Pilates instructor.

I actually was really into having the people vote and THEN get to see them watch the tapes, and THEN watch them go at each other for the things they did and said. Good stuff, that was. Although I’m still a little bummed Jack backed down from his ”buzzard’s crotch” comment about Man-Troll. Also, where was my man Scott?!? What, a guy tosses furniture and brags about his genital warts, and suddenly he becomes persona non grata? What’s that all about?

I’m sure he would have had some excellent comments for Jun and Alison. At least they would have been better then all the other jury members who looked like they were all reading from the same script: ”Congratulations on making it this far. I do not respect you and things you did, but I gave my vote to [fill in the blank, although in this case blank = Jun].” Jun looked legitimately hurt by these comments, and I love the way she and Alison just BOLTED for the front door to get away from everyone else after the verdict was read.

And so now a somewhat sub-par season of ”Big Brother” is behind us. Sure it was better than season 1, but me reading the classifieds on camera would be better than that. Number 4 didn?t match up to seasons 2 or 3 because there was no central character (like Will or Danielle) that you loved to hate; just lots of people you hated. While Will and Danielle were smart and funny in their diary room comments, Alison and Jun came off as just whiny and annoying. In Jun?s case, at least she’s now whiny, annoying and rich.

What did you think of this season of ”Big Brother”?