O Canada -- This Blows

By Dalton Ross
Updated September 05, 2003 at 04:00 AM EDT

We don’t go out of our way here at ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY to make fun of Canadians, but sometimes it’s just so darn easy. A recent trip up north uncovered the Maple Leaf’s funniest offering since Kids in the Hall. We’re referring, of course, to Canadian Idol. The format is almost identical to our own American Idol, but with a few key differences. For one — and I’m going to try to put this delicately — they can’t freakin’ sing!!! Watching pale rider (and former top 10 finalist) Tyler Hamilton try to put the honky in phonky with his soul-free rendition of ”My Girl” (during Motown night) bordered on cruel and unusual punishment. And instead of the charismatic Simon Cowell and world-famous Paula Abdul, the Canadian judges’ panel includes names like Sass Jordan and Farley Flex. (Couldn’t they at least have scored…I don’t know, Corey Hart?) ”Canada might be the world’s second-largest country,” bragged host Ben Mulroney (again, who?) on one broadcast, ”but when it comes to hit music, we are No. 1!” Of course you are.