Highlights from ''Queer Eye: Donald Rumsfeld'' -- As expected, the Defense Secretary doesn't cotton to the Fab 5's suggestions

Donald Rumsfeld, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
Credit: Donald Rumsfeld: Eddie Adams/Corbis Outline

Highlights from ”Queer Eye: Donald Rumsfeld”

– ”You try and tuck my shirt in for me one more time, young man, and you’re pulling back a stump.”

– ”I don’t know what ‘trompe l’oeil’ means, but it sounds French, and I’ll be damned if I let you do anything French to my wet bar, mister.”

– ”No, I don’t think it looks better slightly tousled.”

– ”Well, there are navy suits and gray suits. If there’s a color somewhere between navy and gray, I’m willing to consider it, but beyond that, you have no authorization.”

– ”I don’t care whether Mrs. Rumsfeld will think I’m ‘scrumplicious’ in them — if they can’t be worn with wing tips, I’m not interested. Also, they make my ass look fat.”

– ”Listen, four-eyes, I don’t care for this ‘just have fun’ approach of yours. If you’re going to garnish something, you can’t just do it willy-nilly. You put the currant in the exact center of it, or you don’t put a currant on it at all. That’s the problem with your generation: no discipline.”

– ”How ’bout this: I don’t tell you how to button a shirt all the way up, and you don’t tell me how to shave. Is that a deal?”

– ”Send in the dogs.”

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