Don’t let the come-hither Mary-Kate and Ashley wannabes on the cover fool you: Not even a tween would read something this banal. An apparent imagining of Spider-Man’s Uncle Ben and Aunt May in their adolescence, the first of five installments details how sure-thing May gets Ben’s Spidey sense a-tingling. Spending the summer working at a Dirty Dancing-style summer resort, they laugh at authority, go skinny-dipping, and then get it on in what has to be the hokiest safe-sex PSA of all time. (This, inexplicably, from talented Ultimate X-Men writer Mark Millar.) Do yourself a favor and rent Little Darlings instead.