June 20, 2003 at 04:00 AM EDT

1 BARRY MANILOW The ’70s singer accidentally broke his nose by walking into a wall. Experts think that with a lot of money and skill the wall can be repaired.

2 JEWEL On her latest CD, she’s turned from neo-folk to belly-baring party pop. But it seems she has one foot in both worlds — she still knits her own thongs.

3 ASPEN MUSIC FESTIVAL The patrons are so wealthy that their money doesn’t just talk — it sings.

4 DUMB AND DUMBERER: WHEN HARRY MET LLOYD It’s a Jim Carrey movie without Jim Carrey. Sort of like The Majestic.

5 HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE Harrison Ford plays a cranky old cop with a younger, prettier partner. It makes you wonder if he’s not a cop in real life, too.

6 MONKEYPOX The latest species of jumping disease is spread by pet prairie dogs. Hey, why not just skip the middleman and buy a pet virus?

7 SAMMY SOSA The finger-kissing home-run king got caught with cork in his bat. He says it was all a mistake; he forgot he had used that bat to open some wine.

8 NBC The network paid $2.2 billion for the rights to two Olympics. It just gives you a warm feeling inside to know that everyone can make money on this event but the athletes.

9 LAST COMIC STANDING Twenty comedians will compete for the chance to have a brief, unsatisfying career in showbiz and end up lonely, pathetic boozers. Good luck!

10 SLY STALLONE He’s working on a movie about the deaths of rappers Tupac Shakur and the Notorious B.I.G. Curiously, his tale will be centered on a middle-aged retired Italian-American boxer.

Madonna, Britney, and others roast Carson Daly for MTV BASH July


Madonna, Britney, and others roast Carson Daly for MTV BASH July 13…Keanu Reeves featured in Anthrax video

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