By Jim Mullen
Updated May 23, 2003 at 04:00 AM EDT

1 60 MINUTES It’s celebrating its 35th year with a clip show. It’ll be fun to see the reporters back when they were still in their 70s.

2 JERRY SPRINGER — THE OPERA It’s playing to raves at London’s Royal National Theatre. The only thing that’ll make you feel dumber than watching it? That you didn’t think of it.

3 EMINEM The humor-challenged rapper won’t let ”Weird Al” Yankovic make a video parody of one of his songs. It gives a whole new meaning to ”Without Me.”

4 HARRY POTTER A printing-plant employee and four accomplices have been accused of trying to steal advance copies of the latest book. Slytherins, no doubt.

5 THE MATRIX RELOADED Okay, explain this to me again: Why do they wear sunglasses and raincoats at the same time?

6 ZETA-JONESING The new verb for pigging out, based on recent Web photos of one Mrs. Michael Douglas. As in ”I Zeta-Jonesed a bag of chips waiting for my celeb porn to download.”

7 THE NEW YORK TIMES One of their reporters was caught writing stories that had no basis in fact. We have a name for people who do that kind of thing: columnist.

8 RAY ROMANO The sitcomedian will get $1.8 million an episode next year. So that’s why everyone loves him.

9 MARRIED BY AMERICA It seems the couple that TV viewers chose are fighting. Sounds like they’re secretly hitched.

10 BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM Word of mouth has put the low-budget, star-free import in the box office top 10. One of those rare things in Hollywood: a good opening two months.

Texas Senate passes resolution calling Willie Nelson a ”legend”


Texas Senate passes resolution calling Willie Nelson a ”legend” in honor of his 70th birthday