By EW Staff
Updated May 09, 2003 at 04:00 AM EDT


”Hillary Clinton has finished writing her book, where she says her marriage has never been stronger. And Bill Clinton has just finished writing his book, Chicks I Nailed While Hillary Was Writing Her Book.” CRAIG KILBORN on The Late Late Show

”I love Paula Abdul. And I love that we live in a world that would give a Paula Abdul a second chance.” Will (ERIC McCORMACK), high on painkillers, on Will & Grace

”Okay, I’m the Skipper.” Doug (KEVIN JAMES), after Carrie (LEAH REMINI) questioned his likening himself to the Professor on Gilligan’s Island, on The King of Queens

”Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas had a baby girl. Zeta-Jones said, ‘If she’s anything like me, right now her future husband is in his mid-40s.”’ CONAN O’BRIEN on Late Night

”China…can’t contain SARS. No surprise. They can’t contain the lobster sauce in carryout cartons.” DAVID LETTERMAN on Late Show