By EW Staff
Updated March 21, 2003 at 05:00 AM EST

”Who is my most bitter enemy? Melissa Gilbert. And who opens the door at Mark and Pam’s house? That’s right, Melissa Gilbert. It was like staring at evil itself.” Hollywood producer Carol (CATHERINE O’HARA) to personal assistant Lisa (LILI TAYLOR) on Six Feet Under

”Thursday marked the first flight of Hooters Air, a low-cost airline that will feature young women in hot pants and tank tops serving snacks. And in the event of an emergency, the women can be used as flotation devices.” TINA FEY on Saturday Night Live

”Madonna is coming out with five children’s books. In one of them, we find out that Goldilocks isn’t a real blonde.” CONAN O’BRIEN on Late Night

”Do you think it makes me shallow that I hate him more than I hate Saddam Hussein?” JIMMY KIMMEL, discussing Are You Hot? judge LORENZO LAMAS, on Jimmy Kimmel Live