By EW Staff
Updated January 03, 2003 at 05:00 AM EST

”Shania Twain says she doesn’t care if she ever performs again. This marks the first time Shania Twain and I have ever agreed on anything.” TINA FEY on SNL

”What’s the situation with handicapped parking at the Special Olympics? Is it still just the two spaces?” JERRY SEINFELD on Comedy Central’s Tough Crowd With Colin Quinn

”Thirty minutes into the screening, the film got stuck in the projector and caught fire. That was the good part.” ROGER EBERT panning The Hot Chick on Ebert & Roeper

”I’m a feminist. I know it sounds funny, but I have a lot of feministic views.” A Hooters waitress on A&E’s Cleavage

”Henry Chauncey, the man responsible for the SAT, has died at the age of 97. He died when his car, going 10 miles an hour, collided with a train going 60 miles an hour.” CRAIG KILBORN on The Late Late Show