By Jon Caramanica
Updated December 06, 2002 at 05:00 AM EST

These crunked-up classics and ”updated” fantasies of a two-way-paging, ’64 Impala-driving Santa highlight voices and personalities so feeble they can’t negotiate even the pro forma sentimentalities. B2K might make girls toasty, but they make Xmas downright frosty.

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