Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights

You know all that artistic cred Adam Sandler built up with his acclaimed work in ”Punch-Drunk Love”? Well, he flushes it down the crapper with Adam Sandler’s Eight Crazy Nights — the most ill-conceived animated comedy since the 1991 dog ”Rover Dangerfield.”

Sandler, who cowrote and coproduced this mess, annoyingly voices several characters, including Davey Stone, a slacker Scrooge who farts in Christmas carolers’ faces; Whitey, an elderly, seizure-prone basketball referee with ”the hairiest ass in the locker room”; and Eleanor, Whitey’s twin sister, who mistakes a sanitary toilet ring for a lobster bib. Are you sensing a pattern here?

But ”Eight Crazy Nights” doesn’t just cram as many poop jokes as possible into the longest 71 minutes of your life. Sandler actually has the chutzpah to expect you to care about his caricatures. Davey hates the holidays, you see, because when he was 12, his parents were killed in a car crash on the first night of Hanukkah. Can a reunion with his childhood sweetheart, now a single mom, melt Davey’s cold heart? It looks likely until, as the narrator (Rob Schneider) explains, ”Just when you’re starting to like Davey, he goes and has a butthole relapse.” The same goes for Adam Sandler.

Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights
  • Movie
  • 71 minutes