Is that the ugliest immunity necklace ever?

Okay, we can go on about how much Brian’s wife may have just cost him the game, how it would have been better NOT to merge the two tribes, and assorted other tidbits from the latest ”Survivor”episode. But before we do (and trust me, we will), can we spend just a minute talking about that new immunity necklace. Is that the ugliest thing you’ve ever seen in your life or what? I’m trying to think of something ridiculous to compare it to, but I can’t! It’s, like, in its own stratosphere of ridiculousness.

Not that I’m a fashion diva or anything (I’ve worn the same pair of black jeans every day for about a decade), but I’m not sure I would want to win immunity if it meant putting that thing around my neck. First off, it’s butt ugly, which we’ve already established. Secondly, with all those pointy things coming out of it, if you walked into someone, you might inadvertently take an eye out or something, and as our parents always told us, it’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

Ah, if only this edition of ”Survivor” were much fun to begin with. I thought the non-merge idea was a good call by Mark Burnett, but two weeks later, he ditches it and does the merge. See, I liked the tension of competing against the team you have to live with. I also thought it actually gave a Sook Jai member a chance in hell of winning, in that if they won the next two team challenges, they’d be right back to even.

But Burnett got rid of it, Chuay Ghan is now getting rid of Sook Jai one by one, and the next few weeks are simply playing out the string. Another reason I don’t like the merge? The new tribe name — Chuay Jai. Are you kidding me? At least in the last four editions they bothered to come up with a new name. Combining their previous tribe names is just lazy (not to mention cheesy).

For the past few weeks it’s looked like Brian was the strongest player. He did well in challenges, got along with everybody, and kept the information output about himself to an absolute minimum. Boy, did his wife mess him up on that last count in her video message — showing off his grand piano, two cars, and talking about a trip to Fiji. Yo, babe, why don’t you just wave a big wad of cash at the camera while you’re at it!

At this point, players are looking for ANY reason to get rid of somebody and turn the tide against strong opponents, and Brian’s not-so better half just gave them that reason.

At least Brian gets to stick around a little longer than Ken. Anyone who didn’t see his ouster coming a mile away obviously doesn’t watch the show much. (Similarly, anyone that was fooled for a minute by Ted getting the first three votes doesn’t know the lengths Burnett will go to create fake drama. Nice try, MB, but c’mon, who do you take us for?)

Ken seemed like a good guy, but he was too strong and threatened to start winning all the challenges, a la Colby from “”The Australian Outback,” so strategically, he was the natural choice for the Chuay Ghan people to vote out. Penny, I wouldn’t get too comfortable, because unless Jake gets even more annoyingly desperate, you’re probably the next to go. Personally, I’d keep you around and vote out that immunity necklace instead, but I don’t think Mark Burnett allows that. Yet.