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A scan of recent VH1 programming — yes, these are actual shows from its schedule — suggests that the net has gotten far behind the music. — Caroline Kepnes

— GRAVESIDE GROUPIES Did you know that some fans dedicate the bulk of their free time to adorning dead rockers’ tombstones? Did you want to know that?

— THE SAM AND DAVE SHOW: LIFE AFTER VAN HALEN Somehow as creepy and morbid as Graveside Groupies.

— THE MAKING OF MICHAEL JACKSON’S GHOST VIDEO Hey, VH1 is this close to finishing Behind the Music: The Ketchup Song Girls. Be patient.

— ALL ACCESS: BOOTY CALL Sure, Lenny Kravitz has a cute derriere. But an entire show of butt brandishing?

— ALL ACCESS: BAD BOYS AND THE WOMEN WHO LOVE THEM No, this is not E!

— WHERE ARE THEY NOW? GUYS OF GREASE At last, the members of Sha Na Na get as much play as John Travolta.

— MOVIES THAT ROCK: LAKER GIRLS STARRING TINA YOTHERS A 1990 low-budget cheerleader flick.

— FAMILY TIES Even more for fans who need a Yothers fix.

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