— FORT KNOXVILLE (n.) An indestructible stronghold that contains the hard-earned gold of a Jackass nation (see Johnny).

— WITHERSPOON-FEED (v.) To make filmgoers swallow bland movie pap by putting in a piece of Reese.

— B. LONEY (n.) Tabloid rumors that Ben Affleck will soon be the next Mr. J. Lo.

— HO-DOWN (n.) A video, magazine cover, or other form of popular entertainment featuring Christina Aguilera and her increasingly expressive crotch.

— TART REFORM (n.) David E. Kelley-proposed legislation that would make the legal system an exclusive girls club of hotties with briefcases. Approval seems unlikely.