Jim Mullen's Hot Sheet

1 WHITNEY HOUSTON Her dad’s company is suing her for $100 million. And don’t forget — Thanksgiving is at his house this year.

2 THE RING People mysteriously start to die seven days after watching a certain videotape. And that tape is Liza and David’s Wedding Vows.

3 SWEPT AWAY Madonna’s movie sank after hitting the iceberg of public opinion. It would have made more money if Tom Green had played her part.

4 AUTO FOCUS Hogan’s Heroes star Bob Crane makes sleazy amateur pornos and gets murdered. The feel-goo film of 2002.

5 THUNDERSTIX Just what we need at baseball games, more noise. And wouldn’t they spice up most PGA events?

6 ROSEANNE The ex-sitcom star is hawking her own brand of hot sauce. Will it taste like the authentic Salt Lake City hot sauce she grew up on?

7 TOMMY LEE He wants to play for U.S. troops as a community service. Musicians say it would be a community service if he played for the enemy’s troops.

8 PERRY COMO To boost tourism, the singer’s Pennsylvania hometown will play his hits 12 hours a day downtown. Boosting tourism in the nearby towns.

9 DUCT TAPE A report says it removes warts better than freezing. You’re embarrassed by warts but not about being covered in silver tape?

10 YU-GI-OH! The latest contender for the Pokemon throne. It means ”We have all your lunch money!” in Japanese.

11 RALLY MONKEY Anaheim Angels’ fans think waving a stuffed animal helps their team play better. Do they have a good manager or a good witch doctor?

12 FRIED TWINKIES The latest food to join corn dogs and fried dough at state fairs and carnivals. Mmmm! Goes good with suet!

13 BRATZ DOLLS This fashion-loaded toy will be one of this year’s hard-to-get holiday gifts. The other one is a high-paying job.

14 GIRLS CLUB Three female lawyers try to make it in a man’s world by talking dirty. If that doesn’t work they’ll try being unpleasant and stupid.

15 HOT YOGA The latest New Age trend is to do yoga in a 105-degree room. Or, as we like to call it, anti-aromatherapy.

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